Kicking Air v.2: "The Blog Wars"

WRESTLMANIA 24 PREDICTIONS

Well, we are once again upon another Wrestlemania, this time taking place from the Citrus Bowl in Orlando, Florida. The superbowl of wrestling will be happening in an outdoor venue for the first time since 1994. I am in favor of anything that changes the standardized look of WWE broadcasts. So the outdoor ring is cool with me. And if it rains? It will be just one of many Wrestlemania memories that stand the test of time…

Okay, dramatics aside, I’m pretty excited for Wrestlemania this year. They’ve done a phenomenal job at marketing it. They set the majority of the card up early giving lot’s of time for build.

Unfortunately for you dear reader, I’m bored. So I’m going to go with an in-depth look at each of the matches. I apologize for the lengthiness.

Here we go…

Money in the Bank:
CM Punk v. John Morrison v. Chris Jericho v. M.V.P v. Shelton Benjamin v. Carlito v. Mr. Kennedy

Seven men? I kind of wish they put Matt Hardy in this match to even it out at eight. Not because I want to see him in another ladder match. I firmly believe that Matt Hardy v. M.V.P should have been on this card, and interjecting Matt into Money In The Bank would be a way to see that. That match had some of the best build I have seen in years (If you forget the pizza eating contest). I guess I’ll have to wait for Backlash. Let’s look at the actual participants:

Chris Jericho – Making a return to the match that he created, the Intercontinental champion also makes his return to Wrestlemania after several years off. Jericho has shown his worth in ladder matches in the past, without taking insane bumps (ala Jeff Hardy).

Mr. Kennedy – Proved that the company is willing to get behind him by winning it last year. If it weren’t for an injury that took away the briefcase, who knows how Kennedy would have cashed in? This year we know. He’s told us. He intends to cash in Money in The Bank at this very Wrestlemania.

Shelton Benjamin – The Gold Standard of ECW was interjected into this match because of his ability to shine in matches like this. Doesn’t have a hope in Hell of winning, but is sure to create a Wrestlemania moment or two.

John Morrison – I really don’t have anything to say about Morrison. I would have much rather seen him defend the Tag Team titles with the Miz, but that is a moot point. Much like Benjamin, “The Shaman Of Sexy” shall fulfill his duty of being a spot monkey and nothing else.

CM Punk – I’m not blindly behind CM Punk because of his ROH/Indy work, because frankly I haven’t seen it. However, I do think he is a character that the crowd can and will get behind, and if it weren’t for the glass ceiling in WWE, I would expect big things from him. I thought we’d see more from him in last year’s Money In The Bank, so this could be a second chance to steal the show. Personally, I am rooting for Punk although I am not optimistic. Prove me wrong WWE.

Carlito – Adrift in the directionless mid-card of Raw, he’s been spending his time teaming with Santino Marella. With Santino’s split from Maria, I see these tag team partners drifting apart as well. Which leaves Carlito open for new endeavors. Winning Money In The Bank would be a good way to start rebuilding the credibility that Carlito once had.

M.V.P – Since defeating Chris Benoit, M.V.P has held onto the U.S title for close to a year now for one of the longest reigns in many years. Sure he rarely defends it, but that’s irrelevant. He’s shown his worth by competing against some of Smackdown’s biggest names, and proved to be very entertaining in his feud with Matt Hardy. What better way to add more bling to M.V.P’s career than to give him the coveted opportunity that awaits inside that briefcase?

Winner: M.V.P

Belfast Brawl
Finlay v. J.B.L

All right, a street fight. I mean Belfast Brawl. To-ma-toe, tom-at-oe. After months and months of build with the Mr. McMahon’s son storyline, it finally comes to fruition and pays off with Finlay and J.B.L.

Yeah, I didn’t see that coming either.

If you asked me six months ago how the Hornswoggle storyline would play out, I’ll admit I couldn’t have come up with this. That’s a good and a bad thing. At least it was unpredictable. These two have big reputations for being stiff workers, and the match stipulations give a lot of room for them to live up to it. It really does feel that there are more layers to this story, so I expect more to happen post Wrestlemania. What better way to continue on a feud than by letting the heel win?

Winner: J.B.L

Bunny-Mania
Ashley & Maria v. Melina & Beth Phoenix

What exactly does Bunny-Mania consist of? I’m not entirely sure, but I know it involves Snoop Dogg as master of ceremonies, the roster of divas at ringside as Lumberjills, and a lot of Playboy tie-in’s and references. Essentially, this match is an excuse to parade around the WWE Divas and not much else. You know of my love of all things Melina, but I am afraid that she is no match for the promotional powerhouse that is Playboy.

Winners: Maria & Ashley

After all, we have magazines to sell.

And as a side note, I REALLY hope we see some Santino Marella involved with Bunny-Mania.

24 Man Battle Royal

Winner gets a shot at ECW Title

Raw
- Brian Kendrick
- Cody Rhodes
- Hacksaw Jim Duggan
- Hardcore Holly
- Lance Cade
- Snitsky
- Trevor Murdoch
- Val Venis

SmackDown
- Chuck Palumbo
- Deuce
- Domino
- Festus
- Jamie Noble
- Jesse
- Jimmy Wang Yang
- Kane
- Mark Henry
- Shannon Moore
- The Great Khali

ECW
- Elijah Burke
- Kofi Kingston
- Matt Striker
- The Miz
- Tommy Dreamer

Time for another much maligned Pre-Wrestlemania battle royal. Originally slated to be on the card, the match was pushed back to the pre-show and will be broadcast live on WWE.com. Personally, I am all in favor of another battle royal at Wrestlemania. Why? Because it gets just about everyone on the card. Not only does it give the wrestlers a nice Wrestlemania payday, but it showcases the depth of the roster. In the “showcase of the immortals”, the underappreciated mid-card gets to have their moment. Plus, I really like battle royals. Call it a guilty pleasure I guess.

How do you accurately predict a battle royal? With 24 choices, it ain’t easy. But using a little bit of “booking logic” can help weed out the possibilities. Let’s be realistic. Lance Cade doesn’t have a hope in Hell. Shannon Moore? Not going to happen. With the winner receiving a shot against Chavo Guerrero for the ECW title, it’s going to be someone who can justify having that spot at Wrestlemania. Realistically speaking, it comes down to a handful of guys, all whom the WWE has been pushing in that direction.

Smart money is on The Great Khali. He won a battle royal for the World title, why couldn’t he win here? Defeating Stevie Richards in 10 seconds a few weeks back on ECW TV landed Khali in headlines across India. WWE is said to be pushing heavily for more of a presence in that market. I’m sure Khali winning the battle royal and beating Guerrero for the ECW title would be good for business there. So logic wise and business wise, Khali is a smart choice. I don’t see it happening though.

Will it be Kane? Potentially. A perennial player at Wrestlemania, Kane has a long history participating in the event and it is kind of sad to see him relegated to preshow battle royal status… Nonetheless, challenging Chavo would be a giant mountain for the champ to climb.

Wrestlemania has a history of giving due to the underdog. Eddie Guerrero. Chris Benoit. Rey Mysterio. So why not the heart and soul of ECW, Tommy Dreamer? Chavo defeated Dreamer in three minutes on TV this past week which doesn’t help, but more importantly they raised the idea of Dreamer challenging.

And what about the world’s strongest man, Mark Henry?

Okay, I doubt they’d give the shot to Henry, but logically it would make sense. The Silverback (does he still go by that?) is built like a wall and would be very difficult to toss over the top rope. To be honest though, I just don’t see it happening.

So who is it going to be?

If I were booking it, I would want someone that fans could rally behind. So eliminate the heels. I would want someone capable of putting on a great show. Surviving a 24 man battle royal and competing for a title later on makes someone an underdog.

Winner: Tommy Dreamer

And to be fair, I thought that BEFORE ECW tv this week...

ECW Title match
Chavo Guerrero v. Winner of aforementioned battle royal

Winning a battle royal and winning an ECW title match require defying many odds, especially when you consider that Chavo will be fresh having not competed earlier. All in all, I don’t see all three titles changing hands, and this is the one title that doesn’t appear to be a foregone conclusion. I think having Tommy Dreamer win the battle royal and compete for the ECW Title would be a Hell of a story… But I didn’t say the story had a happy ending.

Winner: Chavo Guerrero

Brand Supremacy
Umaga VS Batista

… another fight for brand supremacy? How many of those have we seen over the years? Sadly I think both of these guys were afterthoughts when drafting the Wrestlemania 24 picture. Bastista stole the show last year with Undertaker, and Umaga is consistent if anything. Word has leaked online that they intend this feud to be a bridge to bring Umaga to Smackdown for other purposes, and it makes the most sense to me. I don’t expect much from this throwaway match.

Winner: Batista

The Biggest Battles The Best
The Big Show v. Floyd "Money" Mayweather

I’m not a boxing fan, but even I know of Floyd Mayweather. Sure, I didn’t know his name, but I knew him as the obnoxious loud mouth that I would love to see get knocked out. I don’t know how much of Floyd Mayweather is a character he portrays, but he certainly comes off as a dislikable heel in the world of wrestling. Sometimes the arena fans see it, sometimes not. I know I’d boo him… No one seems to be too certain of the rules of the match I’ve heard rumblings that they’ve announced that it will be no holds barred. So that puts Mayweather’s posse into the mix of things.

I don’t really know what we’re going to see out of this match. A part of me wonders if this is redemption for Big Show after an unsuccessful attempt at cross brand promotion when he faced Akebono at Wrestlemania 21 in a sumo match. Will Floyd Mayweather fufil his promise of breaking Big Show’s jaw? Will Big Show end Floyd Mayweather’s pro-boxing career? I don’t know. But I know the end result and will sum it up in as simple terms as I can put it.

There is no way that a boxing world champion would agree to do this gig if he wasn’t going to look good doing it.

Winner: Floyd Mayweather

Career Threatening match
Shawn Michaels v. Ric Flair

Is it really such a foregone conclusion that Ric Flair’s career will be ending at Wrestlemania? I don’t think so. Of all people to end The Nature Boy’s career, I just don’t see it being Shawn Michaels. In the long list of accomplishments in HBK’s career, I don’t think we need to see that. Michaels is pretty choosy about whom he puts over, especially at an event like Wrestlemania… But I think Flair would be on that short list. If both men’s careers were on the line, that would drastically change the complexion of this match. The bigger story here is if Ric Flair wins. People seem to be calling for this match to go on last, and for it to steal the show. I disagree with both. I don’t think Ric Flair is important enough today to warrant closing the biggest PPV of the year, and I’m not sure he has it in him any more to keep up with Michaels and compete at that level. Sorry ‘Natch fans, it’s how I feel.

But remember what I said earlier about underdogs? Flair is about as big of an underdog as can be, and this is where I think we’ll get that happy ending as Ric Flair lives to fight another day.

Winner: Ric Flair

World Title match
Edge v. The Undertaker

There is a lot of history contained within this match. Whether WWE chooses to acknowledge it or not remains to be seen. As far as recent history goes, this one started when Edge cashed in Money In The Bank to rob Undertaker of the title last year and “injured” Undertaker, sidelining him for months. Everyone knows of Undertaker’s storied 15-0 Wrestlemania win streak which to me is more significant than the WWE title in this match. I don’t consider this a streak v. streak match because in my books Edge lost last year. He wasn’t pinned, but he didn’t win either. Generally, I’m not a big Undertaker fan, but I have to give him credit for pulling out an amazing, show stealing match with Batista last year… I haven’t watched a lot of Smackdown lately, so I don’t know all of the build to this aside from Taker continuously squashing Edge’s minions, Hawkins and Ryder… But I don’t see Edge winning. The streak is too important to end at the hands of the Rated-R Superstar.

Winner: Undertaker, 16-0

WWE Title Match
Randy Orton v. Triple H v. John Cena

Okay, seriously. Who expects Randy Orton to win? It comes down to Cena or Triple H. Either way, I think there is enough story between the two that we will end up seeing Cena v. Triple H over the next few months. Whether Triple H will turn heel for it, I don’t really know. It’s possible. Cena made a Hell of a comeback by winning the Royal Rumble. No one saw that coming. I'm no fan of Cena's, but I can't deny that he turns it on much like Triple H and HBK when it comes to big time shows. I don't know, somthing about this match comes off as too formulaic for my liking. I feel like we’ve seen it before, at Wrestlemania 20. But this time, Triple H plays the role of the face and gets to celebrate in front of 60,000 fans as we close Wrestlemania with the King of Kings reclaiming his throne.

Winner: Triple H

…. And if Mr. Kennedy should win Money in the Bank, will we see him cash it in as promised and win the World title? I highly doubt it. If they decide to tack on an ending like that, it like so many others, will end with a boot to the gut and a pedigree. Hail to the king.

So.

Remember my predictions are not based on what I want to see, but rather what I think we shall see. If I were betting in Vegas, these are my picks. I’ve been REALLY wrong sometimes, usually at the smaller, lesser pay per views. But to use a word twice, Wrestlemania has become really formulaic over the years. Good guys will win, titles will change hands, celebrities will look good (Except Pete Rose…), Undertaker’s streak will continue. All amongst a sea of thousand of screaming fans, a high tech ring set up, and millions watching at home live on Pay Per View.

For some alternate takes on Wrestlemania, check out my wrestling cohorts Crosblog or Crimson Joe's livejournal. Beebs, get posting...